August 6, 2009

30 Days To Live Challenge-Day One

Tasra Dawson, over at Real Women Scrap, is hosting a challenge based on the book "One Month To Live" by Kerry and Chris Shook.

As is always the case, I am behind on this challenge, the story of my life. But here goes....

Day One:
  • Make a list of 5 things you would change if you knew you only had 30 days to live.
  • Choose one of the above to start today.
  • Describe how you would like your life to be different at the end of these 30 days. What has prepared you to be where you are right now?
  • Tell at least one other person that you're taking on this challenge. Ask them to check in with you 30 days from now.
My 5 Things I Would Change:

-My weight - due to not working anymore because of my shoulder injury, I have gained nearly 50 pounds, and I have done nothing to stop it.
-My time waister - the computer. I use the excuse that I gain so much for homeschooling, and educating myself, but fact be told, I could find this information in other places. This gets in the way of my relationship with my children.
-Feeling inadequate - this came to the forefront again this week, when family came to visit. No matter how old I get, when they show up, I feel like the geek 7 year old I used to be.
-My fear of the future - I am not sure what is next for me in this life, work wise, so rather than takes steps to find out, I sit in fear, and do nothing.

Lots to think about, and a cold bucket of water in the face, when I sit back and admit what needs work. Most of it has to do with my opinion of myself. I have come a long way in the last 5 years when it comes to this area of my life. That is how I found the strength to leave a loveless marriage. That is how I found the strength to deal with now being disabled, at only 42-43.

But now is the time to finish changing those thought processes that hinder my life, and prevent me from truly living.

Choose One To Start Today

-I am choosing my weight. This is what makes me feel the worst about myself. I will walk everyday, gradually increasing my time walking. I will eat more reasonably ... this one will be harder, as I tend to not eat much, and as one of the nurses at my old job told me, you have to actually eat to lose weight. I don't skip eating in an effort to lose weight, I just am not hungry. But I need to give my body the right fuel to burn.

At The End Of This I Would Like To Be......

-I want to be healthier, but I also want to feel better about myself. Sad to know that my weight has that much power over me, but it does. When you get dressed each day, knowing that you are 5 sizes bigger than you were less than a year ago, it changes how you see yourself. But I am a Gift from God, and he doesn't make mistakes. Therefore, I need to take better care of His gift.

Be blessed

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