I recently had an appointment with my physiatrist. I hadn't seen her in just over a year for my RSD, because I had been going to the pain clinic instead, at her recommendation. But they have reached the end of the road as far as options for treatment, and I wanted to go back to her. I trust her. She has been an amazing doctor.
As she entered the exam room, she asked me how I was doing. I replied that I was "fine". She kind of made a face and said "You're really fine?" Rather than go into a long explanation, I said "Well, as good as can be expected. I take it day by day".
Truth is, I have very bad days, and some that, while not as good as it was before my injury, in this new life that is RSD, are amazing.
But I also have something else that I didn't have in the first year or so of my injury.......Adonai. And faith in all that HE is, and all that HE does.
2ADONAI my God, I cried out to you, and you provided healing for me. 3 ADONAI, you lifted me up from Sh'ol; you kept me alive when I was sinking into a pit. 4 Sing praise to ADONAI, you faithful of his; and give thanks on recalling his holiness. 5 For his anger is momentary, but his favor lasts a lifetime. Tears may linger for the night, but with dawn come cries of joy. -Psalm 30:2-5 CJB
When I am having a bad day, I cry out to Adonai for healing. I cry out for at least enough ability to care for my children. And HE has provided that. HE has also provided that some days my children are THE healing. They care for me when I can't care for myself, and that is truly amazing, a gift only Adonai could give.
When I am having a good day, I cry out to Adonai in praise. I thank HIM for the ability to brush my own hair, take a shower, or sweep the floor. More and more, the bad days out number the good, but with Adonai's help, I am adapting.
Part of me has been wondering since my doctor's appointment, should I have used that opportunity to tell the doctor about my faith? Should I have tried to explain to her what has happened in the last year or so?
I will cry out to Adonai for advice, and wait for HIS answer.