Christmas Eve, just like every other day, I checked my email before I went to bed. I got a surprise email from Sir Jack, wishing me a Merry Christmas. For those who don't know, Sir Jack is a gentleman that I dated for about 8 months last year. I use the word "dated" loosely.
Sir Jack had an issue with wanting a relationship, but didn't have time for one. Back in February I called it all off, due to the fact that I was playing 2nd and 3rd fiddle to everything else in his life. I was lucky if I saw him for 2 hours each month. So I was very surprised to get his email.
I wished him and his boys a Merry Christmas. Then another email...saying he missed me. I of course asked the inevitable question: "Are you still as busy as ever?" He wrote me back and let me know that he retired from his job at the university in September. He is still working a part time job, mostly I would guess, to keep himself busy. He is not one to sit still for long, much like myself. The difference being that I keep busy at home.
He has asked me if we could pick up where we left off, and see if we can't build a strong relationship. I am hesitant on one hand, because of how things went last time. But he reassures me that he sees where his mistakes were made before, putting me last all the time. I am not asking to be #1 in his life, that honor goes to his sons (who are both fairly young), but if you want a relationship with me, you have to be willing to be available.
His part time work is for his own security business, and he is currently doing a big job over an hour away for 3 weeks. We will get together after the that job is done, and take it one day at a time.
I would love nothing better than to have a friend and partner, someone to share life's ups and downs. Someone to support and cheer on, and receive the same in return. Whether it happens or not....time will tell.
I told him in the email, and we will talk about it more in person, that I want someone who wants to be in my life on a daily basis. Me, my kids, all of it. It needs to be an honest attempt to be part of my life, and me part of his. It can't be just a once in awhile thing, that's not who I am.
Like I said, time will tell what comes of it. I hope it works out. It gets lonely, alot, being on my own. But I also won't compromise who I am, to not be alone. I will compromise, give and take, to build a relationship...that is needed if you are going to be a couple. Both need to give and take. I will not be the 100% giver though.