January 26, 2012


Limbo: an unknown intermediate place or condition between two extremes. -Dictionary.com

This is how I am feeling lately. In limbo. Do I spend $1000 and fix the current truck, or spend $1100, trade in the truck and get another, one year newer of the same model (my local garage offered that deal)? I put $450 into this current vehicle back in the spring to replace the fuel system and sending unit. I spent $400 on new tires in May (although in actuality, those can probably be switched out). Will I end up having to put more money into the newer vehicle in a few months? a year? I prefer to own second hand vehicles, but this decision is a tough one. Everyone thinks that I should go with the second vehicle. I am still stuck on deciding.

Do I try to get on my land? If I have to do the work to the truck, or buy another vehicle, I may not have enough money from taxes to do this. The one mobile that was still available on Craigslist, I have emailed multiple times with no response back, so it is safe to say it is no longer available and they just haven't taken the ad down. Do I try to shoot for a Rural development loan (there is a home listing for $80,000 I am looking at)? Do I use my land as collateral, and go for a mortgage? I have no idea what I am doing at this point, but know that I need to figure something out by June, when my lease is up. I cannot afford to stay here.

Do I let my 16 year old stay at the local high school, despite my severe misgivings about it? His grades are not good, despite being more than capable of passing with flying colors....there is no effort being made. Do I risk making him madder than a wet hen, by homeschooling him through high school? His education is a major priority for me, but so is his love.

Do I take Jack at his word, that he cannot see me until next week due to previous things scheduled, or do I go with my gut feeling that he is not as sincere as he claimed to be? I want to believe him, want to trust that he means what he says, but my gut is questioning it. He offered to come up today, but the minute that I said yes, and that two of my 3 kiddos were going to be home (Tom, who homeschools, and Sam who is currently not working) he suddenly had to go to work.

I still believe that 2012 is going to be a good year, but it certainly is starting off on a bumpy beginning.


  1. Been there done that! At that time I just turned to prayer and you know, things just start to level out. Sounds like you have to much baggage hitting you at once. You probably can't solve all the problems at once. Don't look at the whole list, just one at a time.

    I hope this didn't sound to forward of me for putting in my 2 cents like this. It just always seems to work for me.

  2. You do what you feel is right INSIDE. We all have instincts that usually end up being right.

    I certainly wouldn't go for a home loan if finances are as tight as they sound. Nothing like having a 30-year worry.....

  3. John, it doesn't sound forward at all. I greatly appreciate the kinds words, and especially the reminder to pray. Sometimes I get too caught up in the issues, and forget that vital part.

  4. Very true Sue:) Although, with the RDLoan, the payments would be more reasonable for what I am paying for rent. They take income into consideration when figuring the payback amount. Time will tell...one day at a time.

  5. Stephanie - You are a smart lady (caught in a tough spot) with good instincts. If you're feeling good about the RDLoan, go for it. Especially since you think you're going to have to move because it's too expensive to stay where you are. Some people might disagree with me, but I think times are going to get tougher and if you can manage to get on your own land where you can hunker down, have a bigger (permanent) garden, possibly some animals, etc. you may be a little bit more secure than in a rental.

    Regarding the truck, getting another one only a year newer doesn't seem like it would guarantee it being in better shape. You know what you have now so it might not be wise to trade it for an unknown . . . ?

    It's extremely hard to change a 16 year old concerning his feelings about school. Sounds like pulling him out of school and homeschooling would mean more stress for you (and him) than you need. We all know of kids who sloughed off all through high school but then went on to either make it fine without a college degree or decided to buckle down when they realized they needed a college degree for what they wanted to do. The most important thing for you to do is provide him the stability of a good home (which you have done) and see that he keeps developing into a responsible adult in life in the ways that truly matter.

    As for Jack, kick him to the curb.

    (Who the heck am I to tell you what to do? Feel free to disregard all the above blathering. You're gonna make it, I just know you are.)

  6. Mama Pea, I so so so appreciate your advice!! I think you are right on the RDLoan too. Going to call the bank this week and at least look into the process. I know I would feel much more secure in a situation where I can "hunker" down...and you are spot on about things looking worse for the economy and such.

    You are having the same thoughts as I was today on the truck situation. It would end up being about the same amount of money, but like you said, I already know what I have. Whose to say that the other one, once bought, wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg 6 months down the road, when I don't have the money of taxes to fix it. I am also kinda attached to my truck lol.

    As for the boy, yep, I know that well, did it myself. It just annoys me to no end that the school doesn't care. I don't think it would be more stress for me...I actually got everything all lined up for him if I brought him home, and he is a very independent student, so I know I could say "do this many lessons of math each week" and it will get done. He did light up a minor bit when I mentioned that if he got up early and did his work for me early, he would have all day for his contraption building etc. Ultimately the decision is mine, and still need to think on this a bit.

    Thanks for all the encouragement!!

  7. Excellent advice from John, Sue, and especially Mama Pea. I think we all need to hunker down for the storm and do whatever preparations we need for that. Dan and I find the decision making process, even for the little things, to be emotionally draining and often frustrating. We often later wonder why we fretted so much. I continually have to remind myself that at least we have the land! There's security in that. Looking back at our decisions, having a mortgage payment lower than the rent we were paying was a wise one.

    The beginning bumps are no indication of the rest of the journey! In spite of tough decisions needing to be made, I'm excited for your possibilities. :)

  8. Thank you Leigh:) I agree, having that land already is a huge plus. Now to do something with it! I tend to drive myself nuts with worry, usually more than is needed.