Limbo: an unknown intermediate place or condition between two extremes. -Dictionary.com
This is how I am feeling lately. In limbo. Do I spend $1000 and fix the current truck, or spend $1100, trade in the truck and get another, one year newer of the same model (my local garage offered that deal)? I put $450 into this current vehicle back in the spring to replace the fuel system and sending unit. I spent $400 on new tires in May (although in actuality, those can probably be switched out). Will I end up having to put more money into the newer vehicle in a few months? a year? I prefer to own second hand vehicles, but this decision is a tough one. Everyone thinks that I should go with the second vehicle. I am still stuck on deciding.
Do I try to get on my land? If I have to do the work to the truck, or buy another vehicle, I may not have enough money from taxes to do this. The one mobile that was still available on Craigslist, I have emailed multiple times with no response back, so it is safe to say it is no longer available and they just haven't taken the ad down. Do I try to shoot for a Rural development loan (there is a home listing for $80,000 I am looking at)? Do I use my land as collateral, and go for a mortgage? I have no idea what I am doing at this point, but know that I need to figure something out by June, when my lease is up. I cannot afford to stay here.
Do I let my 16 year old stay at the local high school, despite my severe misgivings about it? His grades are not good, despite being more than capable of passing with flying colors....there is no effort being made. Do I risk making him madder than a wet hen, by homeschooling him through high school? His education is a major priority for me, but so is his love.
Do I take Jack at his word, that he cannot see me until next week due to previous things scheduled, or do I go with my gut feeling that he is not as sincere as he claimed to be? I want to believe him, want to trust that he means what he says, but my gut is questioning it. He offered to come up today, but the minute that I said yes, and that two of my 3 kiddos were going to be home (Tom, who homeschools, and Sam who is currently not working) he suddenly had to go to work.
I still believe that 2012 is going to be a good year, but it certainly is starting off on a bumpy beginning.