My mind is concentrating on the two things I need to get ready for in the near future....(a) my trip on Monday, (b) Dad's radiation on March 8th.
On the first one, I need to do a couple loads of laundry this weekend, so that Sunday I can get not only myself packed (which is easy), but also the boy's bags. They will be staying with my parents while I am gone. Part of me doesn't want them there, I don't want them in the way. I even offered to find another place for them to stay (their other grandmother's or their dad's), but my mom assures me it will be fine. I think part of her will be grateful to have the boys there to help.
Tom isn't as resourceful as Joe though. The biggest task he has while at their house, is to pick up after himself. I know he will do whatever my mom asks. Joe will do extra, it's just in his nature. Because of this, I have explained to him what to do in the event my dad has a seizure and my brother isn't around. We pray he doesn't have one, and so far the new medication is doing it's job. But you just never know.
I have told both boys that they need to step up, do dishes without being asked. Run the vacuum if it needs it, etc. They know how to do all that stuff, and I will strangle them when I get back if they don't.
I am feeling a bit better about my trip, knowing that I will be back before my dad's treatment. I want to be here for it. Not that I can do anything. But I want to be here to support both him and my mother. Even if it just means sitting with my mom at the hospital for the couple hours that it will take.
While I am on my trip I will be checking in constantly. I almost changed my mind about taking my laptop. My originally plan was to leave it here. Then I considered taking it so I would have access to Skype to talk to the boys and my mother. But finally decided against it. I really don't need to be lugging it around the airports. I have my phone, that is enough.
My father is home and doing ok. There is no sign of seizures. He is very tired and a bit out of it due to the medications, but that may not be a bad thing. Like I said to my mother last night, the more rest he gets now, before the procedure, the better. The radiation is going to wipe him out physically. We are grateful and fortunate that he never got the typical side effects that some people get with radiation and chemotherapy last time. So we are expecting the same this time, but preparing for any that might come up.
I stayed with him for about an hour yesterday, while my mother went to the store. He is in good spirits, although he does admit to being scared. Who wouldn't be with what he is facing. But for my father, strong and proud, to admit he is scared is a huge thing. His fear is not so much facing the treatment, or what it will do to him. It is what it will do to my mother.
In 1996, she brought her older brother home here to NH, to help him through the very same disease. We watched him battle the tumor that had spread from his lung to his brain. We held his hand at the end and reminded him how much we loved him. My dad doesn't want my mom to have to face that again, especially so soon after loosing her mom. But the positive is that treatments have come a long way since then. We have no prognosis on time, but we are praying for the best. We will enjoy the time we have.
So the bulk of today will be spent getting the house cleaned up, getting some groceries for while I am gone, and getting things packed. I am excited about NC still, happy I get to see my aunt and cousin, who I haven't seen since I was 13. My cousin David, is the spitting image of his dad, my mother's older brother I mentioned above. I wonder if I will do a double take when I finally see him in person? LOL! Last time I saw him he was 3 years old. The same age as his oldest child.
I may update the blog with some pictures and posts while I am gone, depending on how often I can get on my aunt's computer. It's a pain to try and blog from my phone. But most definitely will be posting once I get back, filling you all in on my thoughts and impressions. Will NC be all I have built it up to be in my mind? Most things usually aren't. But I am excited to find out:)
Have a great weekend.