February 11, 2012

Shopping

This morning will be spent going grocery shopping with my mom.  I don't need much more than milk, so really, I could just hit the small store down the hill.

But I won't.  I will get to spend a couple hours with my mom, talking, chatting, and just spending time together.

Growing up, I didn't get along with my mother.  She is not one to show her emotions, and I was an overly emotional child.  Everything sent me into a tail spin. Older brother and younger brother picking on me, someone said something to me, or just a bad day would put me into tears.  I don't think she honestly knew how to "handle" me.  I was the only girl, and she was busy trying to raise 3 kids, help my dad with our small farm, and always working a full time job.  My emotional well being wasn't high on the radar.

There was always my grandmother there as well.  She was not an easy person to live with, and more often than not, she and I were at odds about something.  For whatever reason, my mother tended to lean towards my grandmother's side of any issue, most likely to keep the peace.

Our relationship got better when I had my children.  I looked to her for advice, and she was always willing to offer her thoughts and tips.  I will always appreciate it.  She taught me how to be a good mother.  I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but because of her guidance, my children make me proud every single day.

I have noticed more of a change, since my grandmother passed away a year ago.  We are becoming even closer.  We probably will never be best friends, but we are confiding in each other more and more.  We go shopping together almost weekly.  On those trips, we talk about my father, my brothers, my children, and other family members.

I so enjoy finally having a true relationship with my mom.  She is an amazing lady, and I regret waiting until I was an adult to figure that out.  But no matter how old you get, it is never too late to start a relationship.

 

9 comments:

  1. You are right there. I wish I could have the chance to have my parents back again. There are a lot of things I would do different. Love them while you have them.

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  2. sounds a little like my relationship with my daughter and 2 sons

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  3. Sadly, there were several years (teenage years, of course) that I didn't even speak to nor see my mother (Mom & Dad were divorced & we lived w/Dad). I place the blame squarely on my shoulders and am constantly thinking of all those wasted years. But we finally came around to each other in my early 20's and have been very good "friends" since then. It's good to know that you & your mom can go shopping and just talk and be friends!

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  4. You are so wise to realize that having an adult relationship with your mom is important. Remember to ask her "all those questions" about family and events you remember while she's still with you. Once both parents are gone, part of your history is gone, too.

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  5. Thanks John, and with a heart scare for my mom this past year, and a cancer scare the year before for my dad, you are right, time is short.

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  6. Carolyn, it is so easy for young people to let simple things get in the way, isn't it? So glad you have a good relationship now!

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  7. Mama Pea, I know that feeling of the history being gone, all too well. There aren't many left on either side of the family to tell me what people were like that I never knew.

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  8. That's wonderful that you get go spend more time with your mother. I am not very close to my mother but my grandmother and I had a wonderful relationship. She is 97 so I hope to see her again before she dies. She is in Sweden and I'm here so it is hard..

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  9. I sure hope you get to see her again Jo!:)

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