April 18, 2012

Bartering and Hard Decisions

Recently I was lamenting on Facebook about how it is ridiculous to find a pair of sneakers that don't hurt my feet.  The only ones that don't, are $60.  I planned on saving up for a pair since I didn't think to buy them before all my tax refund was gone.  An online friend sent a private message to me, asking if she and her husband could bless me with a gift card to get the shoes.  It was so sweet and loving of her to offer, but I just can't accept a gift like that.  Not without giving something in return.

Enter the barter........Normally I would offer to crochet an afghan or something for someone, in exchange for their help.  This time though, I had something better to offer.  My friend had been commenting on my posts on Facebook, concerning my finds in the genealogy quest for family history.  She kept commenting on how she wished she could do this for her family.  *Lightbulb moment*....I offered to do some genealogy research for her in exchange for the gift card, and she accepted.  So excited to help her out, and get a new pair of sneakers in the process:)  Definitely pays to offer your services.

Now for the hard decisions- The Move:

I am trying to figure out the most cost effective way to move south.  Here are my options:

-Get rid of all major furniture (sell what I can), pack only our basic stuff in my SUV, a trailer and maybe my ex's truck (if he will agree to drive down).  This would only cost me the gas and tolls.  Then when I get to NC, replace the furniture with 2nd hand items (most of my stuff is 2nd hand now).

-Rent a 17ft Uhaul at $1200, and fill it with our stuff, along with what I can fit in the SUV.  This wouldn't include gas for both vehicles, tolls, and possible more money once I turn in the Uhaul in NC.

Most of what we have can be replaced easily, like couches, bureaus, etc.  The things that can't be replaced...Joe's canoe, the boy's bikes, personal items (books, family photos, etc).  It all depends on who will be willing to help me drive down there.  I am praying my ex will say yes.  If not, then it will probably be my younger brother.  I am less likely to ask him unless I absolutely have to.

The trip wouldn't be horrible, it is estimated to take 14 hours, especially if we leave here at like 5 or 6pm, so that we hit the George Washington Bridge in NY around 11pm...ie: no traffic to get over the bridge.  That bridge is scary beyond belief if you hit it during rush hour, so that needs to be avoided at all costs.  So if we left in the late afternoon to early evening, we should be in NC by 7-9am the next morning, depending on stops for gas and such.

Nothing definite can be decided until I talk to my ex, and if he says no, then my brother.  I would have to let my parents know if I am going to talk to my brother, because he will tell them if I don't.  Guess it's getting to that time.  I am content and happy in my decision to move south, but nervous about telling my parents.  Isn't it funny that at nearly 46, what my parents think still matters.  That is a good thing most times, but I still at this stage in my life, worry that I will disappoint them.  Is that a bad thing?

Please keep dad in your prayers...he will be having his SRS (pin point) radiation tomorrow. Recovery is slow going, mostly because he is too unsure of himself.  He needs to build up his confidence.

Have a great day!


  1. Take only what you need. Like you said you can always find used furniture. We moved to Florida in 2007 took what would fit in a mini van and ford escort. Got good gas mileage. Saved money on a truck and fuel for it. The truck will slow you down, top speed is like 50 mph, and you will use more gas then you think. Just my .02 cents.

  2. Thank you for the tips Rob...my biggest issue will be who will be driving with me. I won't drive that far alone w/two teenage boys. Need another adult to help me if we run into problems. But don't want to leave EVERYTHING behind, if you know what I mean:)

    1. A person's healing or recovery does depend so much on their desire to get back to a healthy, productive life. Hoping your dad can get over this current hurdle he's facing and have a good remainder of his life.

      I don't think we ever get over wanting to please or get approval from our parents. At the same time, they need to respect you as the intelligent person you are and give you their blessings for bettering your life in the way you deem possible.

      You've got a bunch of decisions to make right now. Just remember that once the decisions are made, things go easier from there. Sending hugs to you.

    2. Mama Pea, you are so right about the desire, and right now he doesn't have it I don't think.

      Thank you for all the encouragement, it is so appreciated!!!

  3. First of all, prayers for your father.
    We are most likely moving to Sweden at the end of summer or end of year the latest, at least it is the way it looks right now..We will replace furniture with second hand furniture once we get there. Of course, it is more expensive to move to Sweden than to another state.

    I hope things work out the way you plan it. I'll keep you in my prayers. Lots of hugs.

    1. Jo, thank you for the prayers! :)

      Wow, back to Sweden....Sure hope you keep in touch, miss chatting with you so much! Praying for your move as well!

  4. Sounds like you're doing the right thing in weighing the pros and cons of which path to take. Good luck! I will continue to keep your dad in my prayers. And, by the way, I don't think we ever stop caring what our parents think. Or at least that's how it is for me. :)

    1. Thank you Mama Tea....glad to hear I am not the only one who cares what their parent's think.