April 10, 2012

Confusion of Epic Proportions

Yesterday began with high hopes.....but it seemed to spiral into a "Monday".  Nothing major happened, but after a phone call with my brother concerning my father's recent decline in the mental capacity area, the stress set in.

In the last week, dad has become extremely confused again.  He is getting obsessed about one thing, and then everything you talk to him about, no matter how simple, is some how connected to that.  For example, he has had a boil on his hip since before his surgery.  It is something that is being caused by his chemo/radiation treatment almost 2 years ago for the tumor in his lung.  He seems to get them alot.  Well, the hospital didn't do anything with it while he was there, and so my mom is back to trying to get it to heal from the inside out.

He went to wound care last week, they cleaned it up, and now he has a packing dressing on it that is changed daily.  It seems to be healing well now.  But he is obsessed about it.  While talking to him about my son's canoe the other day, he claimed that had to do with his open wound draining.  HUH???

He is just out in left field on everything.  Yet he carried on a great conversation with his cousin on Sunday, reminiscing about things that happened 50 years ago, with no confusion or struggling to find words.  It reminds me of Alzheimer patients I have taken care of.  Short term memory loss, but can remember when they were kids like it was yesterday. Very stressful for everyone involved, but especially my mother.  

He got some good news yesterday, after all the blood work and such that he did to be a part of the research study on radiation with brain tumors, we found out that he will get the SRS, which is the targeted, one dose radiation.  Whether it will make any difference with what is currently going on is yet to be seen.

My mother said yesterday, that he is acting very much like his dad did, just before he passed away.  He had diabetes and had his legs amputated, after which he developed a very bad infection.  He became confused, very snappy and grouchy, and just generally miserable.  Sure hope dad doesn't get any worse in the grouchy area, he is driving my mother up a wall.

No idea what the next few weeks or months will bring.  We can only take it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time.  But I think that I am not getting my miracle.  It is all in G-d's hands, and I will trust that he knows best.  I just don't do well with not knowing what comes next.

Please keep not only my dad, but my mom in your prayers.  This is really taking it's toll on her emotionally, and physically (she is not getting more than an hour or two of broken sleep).


  1. Yes, it's the caregiver (your mom) in these situations who seems to take the brunt of the physical and emotional stress. The ill person is too "sick" to be as stressed as those around him. Praying for you all.

  2. Putting it in G-d's hands is the best you can do.