picture found on Pinterest
For the first time in probably two months, I went to bed last night with a happy heart. Not that all the issues we have been dealing with have been resolved. Dad is still not himself, and probably never will be again. But a huge weight has been lifted, thanks to my boys.
I picked the boys up from their dad yesterday afternoon, and a bit later he called me to talk about the fact that I am moving the end of June. He asked where I had been looking, and I told him "all over", but there is nothing up here I can afford. Then I told him about my first choice, NC. He asked how the boys felt about it, and I told him Tom was ok with it, but I knew that before Joe had told me basically "no way". He said that either one of them could come live with him any time they wanted. I love that he offered that, even though it would break my heart if they did.
So, now it was time to sit down with the boys and have the talk with them about NC. I started out by trying to barter with Joe. "You will finish high school by homeschooling and be done a year early", "If you really hate it, when you are 18 I will fly you home".
I didn't need to barter. He is all for giving it a try. Shocked the heck out of me, I thought he would try to finagle any way he could to stay in NH. We talked about the area we would be living in, and both boys Googled it so they could see it. They will be doing their own research on the area (yes, they are my children, can you tell lol).
When I asked Tom how he felt about it, he said he would be sad to leave NH, but was excited at the prospect of finally having the opportunity to get a homestead going.
I actually cried, while talking to them. These boys of mine, 14 and 16, are growing up so fast, and they "get it"...my need to get away from the family drama and finally live my life. They "get it"...that it is too expensive to live up here for a mom on a limited income.
They amaze me every single day! My daughter already knows, although she is sad that I will be leaving. She would come with me in a heart beat, but her boyfriend won't, and at nearly 20, he is important to her. But I do see here ending up down there in a year, or less.
Now to tell my mother. That will be Wednesday. The boys want to be there with me, to back me up. She won't go ballistic, she isn't one to show her emotions much. What she will do is probably give me a bit of the silent treatment for awhile. That is how she shows her disappointment and disapproval. I adore my mom, and she has always been there for me when I needed her, and I have done my best to be there for her. But it's time I lived life.
I am excited, nervous, and have a million things running through my mind. I called my Aunt in NC to give her the good news, and she was almost as giddy as me.
This is likely to be the best Monday I have had in a long time!! And a special shout out to Mama Pea, who has been such a supporter, cheerleader, and just amazing person in all my back and forth on this. As a Momma yourself, you have given me a different perspective on all this. You are one fabulous lady!!!
Have a great day!