April 30, 2012

Feeling Blessed!

picture found on Pinterest

For the first time in probably two months, I went to bed last night with a happy heart.  Not that all the issues we have been dealing with have been resolved.  Dad is still not himself, and probably never will be again.  But a huge weight has been lifted, thanks to my boys.

I picked the boys up from their dad yesterday afternoon, and a bit later he called me to talk about the fact that I am moving the end of June.  He asked where I had been looking, and I told him "all over", but there is nothing up here I can afford.  Then I told him about my first choice, NC.  He asked how the boys felt about it, and I told him Tom was ok with it, but I knew that before Joe had told me basically "no way".  He said that either one of them could come live with him any time they wanted.  I love that he offered that, even though it would break my heart if they did.

So, now it was time to sit down with the boys and have the talk with them about NC.  I started out by trying to barter with Joe.  "You will finish high school by homeschooling and be done a year early", "If you really hate it, when you are 18 I will fly you home".

I didn't need to barter.  He is all for giving it a try.  Shocked the heck out of me, I thought he would try to finagle any way he could to stay in NH.  We talked about the area we would be living in, and both boys Googled it so they could see it.  They will be doing their own research on the area (yes, they are my children, can you tell lol).

When I asked Tom how he felt about it, he said he would be sad to leave NH, but was excited at the prospect of finally having the opportunity to get a homestead going.

I actually cried, while talking to them.  These boys of mine, 14 and 16, are growing up so fast, and they "get it"...my need to get away from the family drama and finally live my life. They "get it"...that it is too expensive to live up here for a mom on a limited income.

They amaze me every single day!  My daughter already knows, although she is sad that I will be leaving.  She would come with me in a heart beat, but her boyfriend won't, and at nearly 20, he is important to her.  But I do see here ending up down there in a year, or less.

Now to tell my mother.  That will be Wednesday.  The boys want to be there with me, to back me up.  She won't go ballistic, she isn't one to show her emotions much.  What she will do is probably give me a bit of the silent treatment for awhile.  That is how she shows her disappointment and disapproval.  I adore my mom, and she has always been there for me when I needed her, and I have done my best to be there for her.  But it's time I lived life.  

I am excited, nervous, and have a million things running through my mind.  I called my Aunt in NC to give her the good news, and she was almost as giddy as me.

This is likely to be the best Monday I have had in a long time!!  And a special shout out to Mama Pea, who has been such a supporter, cheerleader, and just amazing person in all my back and forth on this.  As a Momma yourself, you have given me a different perspective on all this. You are one fabulous lady!!!

Have a great day!

12 comments:

  1. You are blessed with amazing children! What an awesome, heartwarming experience to know that your boys "get it". Good luck with telling your Mom. My prayers are with you.

    And yes, that Mama Pea is something special, isn't she? We all need a Mama Pea in our lives. :)

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    1. Thank you Mama Tea:) And yes, Mama Pea is one of a kind, and so glad I get to call her friend!

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  2. I am very happy that things are starting to go your way. When we moved to Fla all 5 of my kids can with. all but one still in school. Know that we are talking about returning to Mn only one the oldest may stay here. Only one still in school.

    I will keep praying for you and the boys.

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    1. Thanks for the prayers Rob. It's so hard to know what to do when it comes to the kids, but sometimes we just need to jump in with both feet.

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  3. Good for you.
    I have tried so many times to get away from the family drama. I even joined the Army to do it but yet here I am.
    Good luck with it all.

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    1. Thanks MDR! I so know what you mean, I have moved away before, but always ended up back here. This time I am going, no matter what.

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  4. wow ,well you just can't live very far from momma

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    1. Judy, at the moment I live 5 minutes from her. Going to NC I will be 13 hours away from her. But that's ok, that's what phones and computers were made for.

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  5. Well, I was reaching for a kleenex even before I got to the last paragraph of this post. I'm so happy for you. You are such a strong, sensible woman and mother, Stephanie, who has done a whole lot of thinking and learning and growing. It's wonderful to see that things are really starting to come together for you. You deserve that so much and I'm so happy for you. You haven't had an easy "row to hoe" as the saying goes but you've taken control of your life and perhaps most importantly of all, raised three great kids. All of us reading your blog benefit from your writing and would do well to emulate you.

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  6. Mama Pea, I don't know what to say. Thank you doesn't seem to be enough.

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    1. Hey, no thanks are due to me, Missy. You've done it all yourself!!

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  7. what I meant was your children,sorry for the misunderstanding

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